Each time Jimmy Page releases another remaster the whining starts again.
"But he promised new music!" (...in the voice of a tired two year old).
And, just like with a whining two year old, what I want to do is smack the naysayers and doubters and lock them in their bedroom (now you know why I don't have kids).
It's not because I don't lust for new music, too -- trust me, I'd be flipping out if I could pre-order any new work by Jimmy Page, even if I had to take out a loan to afford it. No, I have this reaction for the same reason I want to slap kids aside the head when I hear things like "Are we there yet?", "I'm hungry", "I have to go" when on a road trip.
We are not there yet. Okay? Look out the window, stupid, do you see that we are there yet? No, we are not, so shut up already.
I don't care how long it's been since Jimmy Page put out new music.
I don't care how many times he's said he wants to be seen playing in six months, next year, whatever.
I don't care if he makes promises he doesn't keep -- for whatever reason.
Because, just like with kids in the car, there are valid reasons for not being there yet. We just don't know what those reasons are. The driver might understand how long it takes to get somewhere, but the kid doesn't. Stupid kid just can't shut up about it. And neither can the naysayers and doubters. They don't care that the driver has always -- and many, many times -- delivered them to the destination before this. All they care about is that they aren't happy with the trip
right now.
So, please, I'm begging you. PLEASE stop being a two-year-old. Shut up already about your disappointment because so what. I'm disappointed, too.
But I tell you what: If/when we do get new music from Jimmy Page, I'm so getting revenge. I'm going to turn around in the driver's seat, shove my face up against your two-year-old mentality and yell as loud as I can:
I told you so, you little doubter, you!
Not that it'll matter. You'll find something else to whine about.
1967