Fake news is no news: Led Zeppelin reunion

I have a lot of trouble with fake news. "Fake" is too nice a word. Fiction is what it is, but when the "news" is presented as fact then what we have is lies.

Lies.

But what's more troubling to me is how so many people have lost their marbles -- excuse me, I mean their critical reasoning ability -- and gulp up fake news as truth. And then, like a flu, they spread it.

Let's talk about a Led Zeppelin "reunion"

First, what is a reunion? It's a regathering of people who have gathered before. So... a true Led Zeppelin reunion would require that John Bonham be sitting at the drum kit. Sorry, I'm not one of those folks who accepts Bonzo's son as a real member of the band. Yes, Jason's a great drummer... but he's not his father. He hasn't worked with the other three gentlemen to create new music. The music that he drums to is his father's music. Jason is a cover drummer. I love the man, but there it is.

Let's talk about "facts"

No, let's not. There are no cold facts. Videos that supposedly prove Jimmy Page intends to do Desert Trip 2017 are from years ago, before there even was a Desert Trip. Use your brains, people. No one who counts has made a definitive statement about a reunion in Nevada, in 2017, or anyplace/anytime.

Now let's talk about Desert Trip 2017 itself

A Led Zeppelin reunion would trash Desert Trip. How many million people tried for tickets for the last time Led Zeppelin got together? Over 20 million. There would be that many and more for another try to see the gentlemen on stage. So let's think about what happened to the Ahmet Ertegon Tribute (the actual name for the 2007 event at O2). Quickly now, who can tell us what other headliner bands were there - raise your hands. Um... I'm not seeing hands. Why? Because the Tribute is usually called the Led Zeppelin Reunion for a reason. When the gentlemen in question get together, that's all there is in the world. Back in 2007 Pete Townshend famously refused to show up, saying that with Led Zeppelin there, they didn't need him. What headliner band would want to be reduced to a supporting act that nobody came to listen to?

Some kind of festival that would be.

This is all stupid talk anyway. It's not like the the rumors that Led Zeppelin are reuniting to perform at Desert Trip 2017 could possibly be anything but fake news. These news articles that announce "insider sources" are reporting that Robert Plant has agreed to a reunion in 2017 because of the band's upcoming 50th anniversary.

Um. Do the math, people. Led Zeppelin was formed and first performed in 1968. So Desert Trip 2017 would be... the 49th anniversary.

But more logic

So let's suppose that Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and John Paul Jones have agreed to a reunion and Jason Bonham has accepted an invitation to join them. And let's suppose that they decide to do this in 2017 instead of 2018. We know very well that the boys are perfectly capable of being sneaky about such decisions, and are perfectly capable of meeting for practice sessions without the slightest hint of a rumor getting out.

We know this. But suddenly these rumors. And not one bit of confirmation from the gentlemen in question. So what does this tell us?

It tells us that Desert Trip probably put an absolutely baseless rumor out there to begin with, because what this has done is created incredible publicity for them. But... do we see any announcement of dates in 2017? No. Do we see any confirmation of a lineup for 2017? No.

Uh huh. Sure Led Zeppelin's going to show up. Because if it's on the internet it must be true. And hey -- I've got a confounded bridge to sell you.